“The NAKED Secret” A pursuit of Beau, my Romeo Dear Diary, The feeling is mutual, is all that I can say. I have been a go-between friend until realization hit me on the forehead. After all those passive years bridging up somebody to somebody, I eventually come down to brass tacks and decided to stop from being the #3rdPartyPooper in other people's love affair. Of course, I realized subsequently the significant need of some guy too - not because I am fed up of it but I am starting to believe that I deserve someone as well. I was helping hopelessly devoted individuals to get ahold of their Mr. Right without knowing that the call to mine's romantic love has had succumbed me from head to feet already. Struggling from the corner, I thought it will never work out for me. I always figured I am one of those people who would never find that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Not even just for a hearty while, maybe. It’s amazing how your world spiraling out of control can change all that. Turns out, I may have found someone after all. |
When I got to know him, I didn’t feel anything at first, heck when my circles (new friends in the city) said he is cool, I was even like: where got? Normal only… but after quite a while, getting to know him even more, I started to think that he is a really cool guy! He is really an active ‘n sporty ‘n natty ‘n cool ‘n fanciable ‘n genial ‘n whimsical ‘n butch ‘n upbeat ‘n hunky ‘n tutsi kind of guy, the kind that I have always liked. And it seems like he is somehow into the same kind of stuff that I like, which elevates my opinion about him even more. What’s more, he can do things better than I can! He can gravitate friends more than of a number towards him! And he is witty and smart, I like that in a guy. People always say, brains are the best aphrodisiac, I am a firm believer of that.
While he is all that, I can’t really say that he is perfect. For one thing, he has got a girlfriend, I mean, a lot of them really his kaberks say, and for me that is a huge turn off. Guys with girlfriends and/or flirties are a huge no-no, who knows, if he does dump his girlfriend for you, one day he may dump you for another girl too. And I said to myself, better don’t crap around with guys like that.
While I do not know his girlfriends personally and those whom he flirts erratically, I have heard that they are the kind of girls that are somewhat like a wannabe, craving guy’s attention and such. Not to be unfair to them, but I am biase, because I am jealous that they have such a cute presumed bf but I don’t. Heck, at least I have the guts to admit it. Hek hek.
True, I came from a broken family but hooray! Another this #ExtensionToBeFeels is melting my whole cold world. So I asked myself lately, can I be friends with this guy (at least)? Because as far as stupid love is concerned, I am dead speechelss everytime he ogles at me. And that feeling starts to burn inside me, days past, weeks and even months. Too much to be true.
Oh, and there’s But! It felt like my world is sunk deep when I figured out that he’s being around, not for me, but, because of somebody. Sure bet that the gravity of anger fructifying within me is poisoning my entire being already ravishing only him. It felt like I want to slaugther whosoever comes along our way. To me, the course of true love never did really run smooth. I have survived through a lot of hard sledding yet now moving on from this lovesick seems tough enough to make me give up. Wait…Where in the hell world was I possibly thinking about moving on, when in fact, I’m not in very place to? I’m not his as he is no mine. Yet, no matter how hard I push to try, I still can’t help to move out of his life or him move out from my life! Yes, his charm is very bewitching that resisting it by any force would not work.
I have been a bit of crazy afflated and nobody really understands a lot of what has happened in the last few days, nights and weeks. Only one thing I know for sure, that is, I didn’t expect my “someone” to be HIM. I probably would have never found out, either, if it weren’t for how the last few months unfolded. It’s been almost 2 years now and I’m still head over heels. I have loved him far this much. Gosh! His amorousness is just like a pill, instead of making me better, he’s making me so ill.
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While he is all that, I can’t really say that he is perfect. For one thing, he has got a girlfriend, I mean, a lot of them really his kaberks say, and for me that is a huge turn off. Guys with girlfriends and/or flirties are a huge no-no, who knows, if he does dump his girlfriend for you, one day he may dump you for another girl too. And I said to myself, better don’t crap around with guys like that.
While I do not know his girlfriends personally and those whom he flirts erratically, I have heard that they are the kind of girls that are somewhat like a wannabe, craving guy’s attention and such. Not to be unfair to them, but I am biase, because I am jealous that they have such a cute presumed bf but I don’t. Heck, at least I have the guts to admit it. Hek hek.
True, I came from a broken family but hooray! Another this #ExtensionToBeFeels is melting my whole cold world. So I asked myself lately, can I be friends with this guy (at least)? Because as far as stupid love is concerned, I am dead speechelss everytime he ogles at me. And that feeling starts to burn inside me, days past, weeks and even months. Too much to be true.
Oh, and there’s But! It felt like my world is sunk deep when I figured out that he’s being around, not for me, but, because of somebody. Sure bet that the gravity of anger fructifying within me is poisoning my entire being already ravishing only him. It felt like I want to slaugther whosoever comes along our way. To me, the course of true love never did really run smooth. I have survived through a lot of hard sledding yet now moving on from this lovesick seems tough enough to make me give up. Wait…Where in the hell world was I possibly thinking about moving on, when in fact, I’m not in very place to? I’m not his as he is no mine. Yet, no matter how hard I push to try, I still can’t help to move out of his life or him move out from my life! Yes, his charm is very bewitching that resisting it by any force would not work.
I have been a bit of crazy afflated and nobody really understands a lot of what has happened in the last few days, nights and weeks. Only one thing I know for sure, that is, I didn’t expect my “someone” to be HIM. I probably would have never found out, either, if it weren’t for how the last few months unfolded. It’s been almost 2 years now and I’m still head over heels. I have loved him far this much. Gosh! His amorousness is just like a pill, instead of making me better, he’s making me so ill.
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